


A Total Cat-astrophe

by JustAndrea



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Arguing, Cats, Gen, Humor, M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAndrea/pseuds/JustAndrea
Summary: Question: How many mutants does it take to get a cat out of a tree?Answer: Wayyy too many.
Relationships: Hypno-Potamus/Warren Stone, Repo Mantis & Todd
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	A Total Cat-astrophe

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was partially inspired by something that happened irl a couple weeks ago in my hometown, and also I just really wanted to write another ELoM-focused fic. I still love my "Repo's Seven" fic, I still love these characters in general, and I just felt like writing something sorta silly. So yeah, hope you all enjoy!

Repo wasn’t the type of person (er, bug-man) to let very many things stop him from doing his job. Time was money, after all - and as a repo man, he was all about that green stuff. As such, there wasn’t much that could stop him from working and getting it. 

So what if it was raining or snowing a little as he counted his scrap metal, that was what jackets and the heater inside his tow truck were for! Some cheap-chump wasn’t willing to let his stuff get repossessed? Well, Repo wasn’t the buffest guy, but he certainly had enough muscle to deal with that. And if they tried to swing him with some sob story? HA, nice try, pal.

No, there wasn’t much that could stop him from doing his job… except, for a stray cat that just wouldn’t stop meowing.

From the moment he heard it's distressed cries - nearly four hours ago, just a little after he first woke up and went outside - Repo just couldn’t bring himself to stop looking for it, no matter how frustrated or annoyed he was getting or how much work he was falling behind on. 

He’d always had a soft spot for cats, even back when he was a kid playing with the strays that hung around his old man’s garage. Not even his precious Mrs. Nubbins going from cute and cuddly to mutated and feral could turn him off the little furballs. He still loved her - and all cats - with all his heart. 

So, despite a part of him hating that he was wasting time (and money), Repo nevertheless continued to spend the morning searching through his scrapyard for the trapped kitty. He looked under cars, inside cars, under his home and under his truck, inside boxes and cans and anything else that a cat could get trapped in - but everything came up empty.

 _“Mrowwwww...”_ he heard in the distance.

“I’m lookin’!” Repo shouted back, “Don’t ya think I’m tryin’ to find youse?! Ugh…” Where could it be? The cat meowed again - it sounded clear. Distant, sure, but not exactly muffled. Trying to focus, Repo started to walk again, doing more listening than actual searching. 

In a stroke of luck, he managed to find the right direction, at least. With each few steps, the meows became louder and clearer, until he finally arrived at the right spot:

In the very back of his scrapyard right near his wire fence, in a spot that still had half-dead trees and dry, yellow grass, was the trapped cat. All the way up in a tree, as high as it could go without snapping the branch that it was sitting on.

“...You gotta be kiddin’ me.” The cat, its brown fur just a shade or two lighter than the branches of the tree itself, just gave a sad meow in reply. “Ugh, okay okay. Repo’ll get ya down. Just-” 

With a grunt, Repo tried to climb up into the tree. His claws were able to grab hold of the trunk well enough. His feet? ...Not so much. There was also the little problem of actually getting his claws out of the bark once he’d stuck them in. Repo groaned again. “I really miss havin’ hands sometimes…”

Still, he tried to keep climbing. But between his uncooperative claws and his sliding feet, it was a struggle. The last straw came when he felt a strong pain in his lower back, forcing him to let go of the tree and causing him to fall flat on his buggy-butt.

“...Okay, apparently climbing isn’t gonna work,” Repo said flatly. He hadn’t really expected it to work anyway, given how high up the cat was. Even if he had been in shape and a decade or so younger, there was no way he’d ever be able to climb that high. He was scrappy, sure, but he was no athlete.

 _“Mrowwww…”_ Repo winced at just how sad and helpless the stray cat sounded. Maybe this idea had failed, but he wasn’t sure if he could live with himself if he just gave up then and there. He was hard-as-nails when it came to most things - humans, mutants, yokai, annoying turtle teens - but not cats.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Repo told it as he fished his cell phone out of his vest pocket, “I’m callin’ in someone who owes me a favor for those shiny new rims I gave him for his food truck a couple months ago.”

\-----------

Within half an hour, a familiar pig-themed barbeque food truck made its way into the scrapyard, driving around the piles of junk and metal before finally arriving at the far side of the yard. Once he parked, Meatsweats stepped out with a surly look on his face.

“You better have a good reason for interrupting my prep time, Mantis,” the pig-nosed chef warned him, all while Repo couldn’t manage to look more than completely unimpressed, “Honestly, it’s nearly time for the lunch rush!”

“Yeah yeah, youse can get back to your cookin’ as soon as ya help me out,” Repo said.

“Hmph, fine. What is it?”

Repo wordlessly pointed up into the tree. A bit confused, Meatsweats brought his hand to his forehead, shading his face from the sun as he looked up. It took a bit of searching and squinting, but he eventually spotted the face of a brown kitty staring back down at him.

“...Okay,” Meatsweats started to say, looking back at Repo, “Assuming you don’t just want me to cook the little hairball, I still don’t understand why you needed me specifically. Surely you have a ladder or cherry-picker that you could use.”

Repo glared at him, but held back any snappy insults. Instead, he explained, “Youse know as well as I do that he’s way too high up for any ladder I’ve got lyin’ around here, and I use tow trucks, wise guy, not cherry-pickers.”

“Oh, forgive me, I just assumed you had one in your personal fleet of vehicles, considering how much you seem to enjoy snatching up cars,” Meatsweats snidely replied. He then muttered under his breath, “Not that I could blame you, since it seems to be your only means of making a living…”

Again, Repo bit his tongue. “ _And_ as for why I called you, you’re the only guy I know with tentacles. So just stretch up and get him, and then youse can get back to your so-called lunch rush.” Though, how anyone would want to eat Rupert’s snobby, overpriced crap was beyond him.

Meatsweats stared at him flatly. “...Actually, I think you’re confusing me with the fellow who can control those purple vines. Frankly I’m not sure how you could get us mixed up.”

Repo blinked. “...Uhh, what?”

With a bit of an annoyed sigh, Meatsweats removed one of his metal gloves. His arm morphed, its tentacles unraveling and stretching upwards. Unfortunately, they only stretched about a foot or so longer than an actual arm - much, much shorter than the branch they were reaching for. “You see?”

“Oh, well that’s just _great,_ ” Repo huffed, “Ugh. Well, thanks for nothin’, Swaggart.”

“Ah ah, not so fast,” Meatsweats countered as he put his glove back on, “I may not have the grabbing power that you’re looking for, buuuut I do have another talent that I’m sure could get our feline friend down in a jiffy.” He then smirked, his lips parting just enough to reveal his canines.

“Of course, this little talent of mine will take a lot more effort than simply stretching one’s arm, which means I need a bit more compensation in order to _really_ make it fair. Oh, but I’m sure you wouldn’t mind, right Mantis?”

Repo growled. That smug, pig-faced son of a- He **hated** getting the raw end of a deal… Still, hearing another cry from the stuck cat was enough to make him accept the deal, albeit reluctantly. “Fine, but after that we’re square, youse got that?”

“Heh, works for me.” With one good hit to the side of his food truck, the back opened up, revealing the fully-stocked kitchen within it. Still smirking, Meatsweats quickly got to work.

First things first, he grabbed some fresh salmon from his fridge. “Ah yes, nothing better than the classics!” he insisted as he picked up his favorite frying pan. Next was the oil, then capers and, naturally, salt and pepper. From there, Meatsweats went to work on properly garnishing the piece of fish before placing it in the pan.

“For a fish like this, you _must_ get the timing of its cook just right if you want it to be truly good. ...Heh, not that that’s a problem for me~” Meatsweats monologued to his imaginary audience.

“Gimme a break,” Repo mumbled. Meatsweats scowled, but ultimately ignored him as he focused on adding a bit of lemon juice to the still-frying salmon to ‘unleash the flavor’. In about twenty minutes time, he was able to plate the absolutely delicious (and as promised, perfectly cooked) piece of fish.

“ _Ahem_ , dinner time!” he announced, holding the plate up towards the branches. “Freshly cooked fish, just for you! Come get it before it spoils!”

The brown cat peered over its branch, sniffing the air… before sitting back up, and letting out another pitiful meow.

Meatsweats blinked, and then scowled. “Oh kitty, come down and get your din-din! It’s not polite to waste food, you know!” he said, a bit more forceful this time. The cat meowed again, not moving an inch and barely even looking at the fish now. 

The pig-man nearly threw the plate down at that, clearly offended. “Ugh, you brat! Do you know how much people would pay to get a personally-cooked meal from me, and you can’t even be bothered to climb down a lousy tree?!”

Repo, while also frustrated that it hadn’t worked, couldn’t help but chuckle at Meatsweats’ tantrum. About time someone knocked that guy and his food down a peg. “Maybe he just likes raw fish more than cooked. _Or maybe he just has good tastes_ ,” he mumbled.

“Ugh, whatever,” Meatsweats huffed, placing the plate on the ground at the base of the tree. “It’ll come down when it’s hungry enough.” Though, as far as he was concerned, the little mongrel could just stay up there and starve.

However, that solution wasn’t good enough for Repo. “I’m not gonna let him stay up there until he’s too hungry to care whether or not he makes it down. So unless you can come up with somethin’ that’ll actually work, youse can forget about gettin’ your ‘compensation’.”

Meatsweats scoffed. He was clearly annoyed, but luckily for Repo, he could be just as stubborn as the bug-man was. “...Well, I do have this mate of mine who could help. He could probably make the tree intangible with those ghost powers of his.” Without anything for it to hang onto, that could get the cat down in a snap.

Repo on the other hand saw this as anything but a good thing. “I- What’s the matter with you?! We’re tryin’ to get him down, not break his legs!”

The pig-man just gave him a flat, unconcerned look. “I thought cats always landed on their feet?”

“Not when they’re that high up, moron! Besides, even if we did manage to catch him, a drop from that high up will still probably kill off a couple of his nine lives before he hit the ground.” Maybe if they were truly desperate, they’d do it as a last resort. But for right now? _No way._

Meatsweats rolled his eyes at Repo’s protests. Typical, the one unable to come up with any ideas of his own was the one complaining. “Well fine then, what do YOU suggest we do, hm?”

“I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’!” Repo put the tip of his claw to his forehead, trying to rid himself of his quickly growing headache - and the continued meows from above didn’t exactly help. “...What about those crab guys? Benny and Carl or somethin’ like that? They’re acrobats or whatever, right? They could probably do some fancy flips to get themselves up there” At the very least, they probably knew how to climb a tree.

“Hmm, you make a decent point… On the other hand, they don’t exactly seem like the most reliable help,” Meatsweats countered, “Frankly, those muscleheads seem like the type that would just make things worse - and if it turns out they can’t get themselves up there, do you really want them shooting their claws at the cat to try and knock it down.”

Repo thought about it, and reluctantly agreed. “You’re right. We don’t need extra muscle, we need someone with actual skills we can use! But who-?”

It came to them simultaneously, and for once the two of them were in perfect agreement as they said the name of who would hopefully be their solution simultaneously: _“Hypno!”_

\------------

It didn’t take too long to track down Hypno’s number, thankfully, given that he advertised his magic act online. Just like Meatsweats had been, the hippo-man admittedly was a bit reluctant to drop everything and come over, but Repo must have sounded desperate enough for him to eventually relent.

...Or maybe Hypno and his partner just had their own ulterior motives.

“Uh, what’s with the worm?” Repo asked once Hypno had shown up, raising his eyebrow at the small, blond worm sitting on his shoulder, “Not that I really care either way but-”

“Well, it may be a fluff piece - literally - but news is news,” Warren answered, “ _And_ a group of mutants rescuing a cat from a tree is an interesting enough twist on a standard story to be actually newsworthy. Good enough to be put on my news blog, at least.” He then smiled a bit. “It may even get picked up by Channel Six! Or at the very least, Channel Eight or Twelve,” he hoped.

“Can’t see how that’d really matter to you,” Meatsweats mumbled, casually popping the worm-man’s bubble, “Not like you’d be asked to personally report on it after the fact.”

“‘Sides, you don’t exactly got a ‘face for TV’, if you get what you mean,” Repo added with a slight smirk.

Warren scoffed. “Do you rubes even know who I am?!”

“Nah, not really. And again, don’t care.”

Warren’s scowl deepened, but Hypno managed to somewhat calm his ire, mumbling a _“They’re not worth it, love”_ before turning his attention back to Repo. “Considering we’re doing you _and_ this cat a favor, perhaps you should show a little more gratitude and appreciation.”

“I’ll show some gratitude after you actually manage to get him down,” Repo countered, “So get to it! Poor thing’s been up there for hours…”

Hypno sighed, but obliged - if only for the cat’s sake. “Cover your ears,” he ordered, gently placing Warren down on the ground and handing the worm his phone (gotta have pictures) before stepping forward and turning his head up towards the tree branch. The brown cat was already looking down on him as he gave another pitiful meow. Perfect.

The hippo-magician took a deep breath, and- _“MEZMEROOOOOOOOOOO~!”_ His hypnotic shout traveled up through the bare branches, shaking them a bit while the cat, now a bit shaken, sat up.

“Now…” Hypno began, “Climb down!”

There was a pause, another meow, and then… nothing. “...I said, climb down and come to me!” Hypno repeated. Again, the brown cat did no such thing, instead giving him another curious look before laying back down on the branch and letting out another sorrowful meow.

“Uhh, are youse sure ya did it right?” Repo asked.

Hypno gave a bit of a huff. “I think… he may just be outside of my range.” The trio of fellow mutant-villains behind him gave a groan.

“In that case, are there any other tricks you could try?” Meatsweats asked.

“Weeeeell…” Hypno pulled his wand out of his sleeve, and pointed it upwards. “How’s about a little- _Levatato!_ ” A burst of magic shot out at the end of the wand, but again, the spell fell short by what looked like a few feet. Hypno tried again, and this time it was about as high as the correct branch, but too far to the left. Then too far from the right, then too low again.

“Maybe youse should try actually AIMING!” Repo snapped after several more tries.

“I AM trying!” Hypno yelled back, “And you pressuring me isn’t exactly helping!”

Of course, Repo didn’t apologize. He just groaned as he tapped his forehead again. Swaggart’s arms were too short, Hypno’s magic didn’t go far enough - what else was there left to try?!

“Excuse me, but if I, Warren Stone, may make a suggestion?” Warren said, making sure to give Repo a pointed look (as if it’d somehow help him remember his name from now on) before continuing, “Hypno, this hypnosis app that you made-” he pointed at the phone, “It still works, right?”

“Yes, but- Oh! Oh yes, that’s a brilliant idea!” Hypno grinned, with his roomie taking a moment to smile back at him, “If we can just get my phone up there, I should be able to hypnotize the cat! Though, actually getting it up there may be a bit tricky. I do have my doves but, considering we’re dealing with a cat…”

“Do either of you have something that could fly a phone up there?” Warren asked.

“Obviously not,” Meatsweats answered, “Not unless you want me to try flipping a phone up there with a spatula or frying pan.”

“I’ve got a bunch’a drones, but they’re all from the drone derby, which means they’re only good for bein’ spare parts so-” Suddenly, Repo remembered. “Wait! I’s got just the thing! Be right back.”

As he jogged back over to a particular junk pile, he couldn’t help but smirk a bit. He knew repo-ing that one kid’s bar mitzvah gift table was a good business decision.

\------------

As much as he loved being a (handsome and VERY popular and admired) news anchor, Warren could admit that there were times where he was occasionally a bit jealous of his colleagues who had the opportunity to report while on the scene of some big event or disaster - to TRULY be a part of what could easily be called ‘action news’.

So, when it was suggested that he be placed in the cockpit of the toy plane in order to steady Hypno’s phone, Warren wasn’t too turned off by the idea - even if the lack of seatbelts in the thing and the thought of being at least twenty feet up in the air did somewhat concern him…

“And you’re sure you can fly this thing?” Warren asked once he had settled into his tiny seat, barely managing to sit the phone down in front of him.

“For the last time - YES!” Repo answered. Just because he had giant claws didn’t mean he couldn’t still handle a remote control. For crying out loud, if he could still manage to drive his truck, he could do anything - especially if that ‘thing’ was using a simple joystick!

“It shouldn’t take too long to hypnotize him once you’re up there, anyway,” Hypno added in an attempt to comfort, “And come on, if worse comes to worse, you know I’ll be there to catch you, right?”

Warren’s expression softened a bit. “Yeah, I know…”

“...Yeah and if ya can, could you make sure to catch my plane too?” Repo asked, ruining the moment, “I still wanna eventually make money off’a this thing!”

The couple rolled their eyes. “Let’s just get this over with already,” Warren told them all, “The sooner we wrap this story up, the sooner I can post it online.” After he fixed his hair, of course. Excitement or no, open-air flying and all the wind that came with it were definitely a pompadour’s worst nightmare.

“Fine by me.” Repo switched the remote to ‘ON’, and with a press of a button, the motor to the toy plane turned on as well.

As he began to take the plane up into the air, Repo heard Meatsweats mumble from behind them, “This is going to be an _absolute_ disaster.”

“Shut it, Swaggart,” Repo shot back, though he still made sure to keep his eye on the plane. Getting it up into the air was the easy part, now he just had to land it close enough to the cat for him to see the phone screen and get hypnotized. “And hey, no one said you had to stick around.”

“Oh no you don’t, Mantis,” Meatsweats retorted, snorting a bit as he pointed at him, “I’m still waiting on my compensation.”

Repo felt his temper begin to rise again. “ _For doing what?!_ Wasting my time with that cookin’ demo of yours? S’Far as I can see, Hypno and the worm have done more to help than youse!”

“You could at the VERY LEAST give me gas money for making me drive all the way out to this dump!” Meatsweats growled back.

“It’s a scrapyard, not a dump! And fine, whatever, now shut it and let me concentrate!” He narrowed his buggy eyes as he took the plane around the tree once more, as if hoping that some sort of wooden runway would magically appear. “Grrr, there’s no place to land the damn thing, all the branches are too thin!”

“Well, if you can just slow it down and get it close enough, maybe it’ll still work without direct eye-contact,” Hypno suggested, “Even if it’s an app, it still mostly relies on sound - and frankly I’d rather we try that than you failing to land and getting my boyfriend stuck up there too.”

“Ugh, fine…” He slowed down the speed of the plane as he flew closer to where the cat was still sitting, looking wide-eyed at the shiny toy as it circled him.

“Okay, Warren! Go ahead and turn on the app!” Hypno shouted.

“Got it!” Warren called back. Briefly turning the screen towards him, he selected the app and turned the volume up before quickly turning the phone away, not wanting to get hypnotized too. “I think he’s looking at it!”

“Great! Just keep it on him until we’re certain, then I should be able to just order him to come down!”

As he continued to keep the plane steady, Repo felt himself relaxing a bit. Maybe this plan would actually work! Just a few more minutes, and they’d have that kitty-cat down safe and-!

Suddenly, the cat began to stand from its sitting position on the branch. From up above, Warren could see that the feline’s pupils weren’t swirls, but instead were completely dilated while his tail swung back and forth.

“...Uhhh, Hypno?” Warren called out, partially shielding himself with the phone, “I don’t think it’s working!”

“Huh? I thought he said he was looking at it?” Hypno yelled back, “Why wouldn’t it be working?”

“Well, he’s looking at SOMETHING but-” As the plane went into another loop around the tree, Warren’s own eyes widened as he noticed the cat in what now looked like a pouncing position. “...Repo. Repo get me down NOW!”

“No way! If ya gettin’ air sick, just hold it in!” Repo ordered, “Now shuddup an’ hypnotize him already!”

“I’m trying but I-” A small growl and a ferocious (well, as ferocious as a cute little kitty could be) cut Warren off as the cat finally made its move.Balancing on his hind legs, the cat’s paws came down with as much strength as his tiny body could muster, smacking down the toy plane’s wing before it could get out of the cat’s range. As such, the plan was sent into a total tailspin while Hypno’s phone and Warren, both having been knocked out of the cockpit, plummeted back towards earth.

 _“Warren!”_ “Shit-!” Repo just about broke the joystick trying to pull the plane out of its downward descent while Hypno ran and dived towards Warren like he was a pro-baseball player, managing to catch him right at the last moment.

Hypno sighed in relief. “Heh, there, you see? Caught you just like I said I would! Ah, you alright, dear?”

Warren just groaned, facedown in Hypno’s giant palm. When the worm-man did finally look up, he was looking a bit more green than pink. “I am NOT doing that again.”

Not that it mattered. The toy plane - which had actually started to pull up slightly, only to end up flying into the tree and crashing to the ground anyway - didn’t share that same luck, nor had the phone. Able to see the damage even at a distance, Repo groaned and facepalmed. 

Another plan down the drain and (as the little troublemaker reminded them with another sad meow) they were no closer to getting the poor cat down… Behind him, he heard Meatsweats chuckling, saying something about how he had just _known_ all along how wrong that plan was going to go and- ...wait, that wasn’t _just_ Swaggart who was laughing.

“Ay, _cerdo_ , you didn’t tell me that I was going to get a show when I came out here!” a giant polar bear in an orange leotard said, still laughing even as the other three mutants shot him a glare.

“Well, I suppose the old saying holds some truth,” Meatsweats mumbled, leaning towards the bear and keeping his voice just loud enough for Repo to hear, “Work with clowns, expect a circus.”

Repo growled as he stomped towards the two. “Who is he, and what’s he doin’ in MY scrapyard?!”

“He’s the mate I told you about,” Meatsweats explained, “I gave him a ring while you were all setting up this disaster, since I was getting tired of waiting.”

“Yeah!” Ghostbear held up an arm, smiling proudly as he turned it intangible. “I can get that lil’ _gato_ down, no problema!”

“ _No. Way._ Swaggart, I thought I told youse-!”

“You said that you’d consider it as a last resort,” Meatsweats reminded him, meeting the bug-man’s glare with one of his own, “And, unless you’re about to try and get a broken toy plane to fly, I’d say we’ve arrived at ‘last resort’. So, do you want the cat down or not, Mantis?”

Repo’s eyes narrowed, but he knew he couldn’t argue. He just didn’t have any other options. “...Fine. But ALL of youse-” he gestured to Meatsweats and then Hypno and Warren- “are gonna help me catch him.”

With that settled, all of them (with the exception of Warren, obviously, who simply sat on Hypno’s shoulder) gathered around the tree, doing their best to try and cover all possible spots where the incoming kitty might land. Ghostbear, meanwhile, stood in front of the base of the tree. “You ready?”

“Yeah…” Wincing again, Repo glanced up at the branches, meeting the cat’s curious gaze. “Sorry, lil’ buddy…” But a scared cat was still better than a stuck one, or a starved and dead one. “Alright, let's do this.”

Ghostbear nodded, grinning. He cracked his knuckles, put his massive paws on the trunk of the tree, allowed them to turn intangible… and immediately fell face-first into the tree, his paws and arms simply phasing through it.

There was a long silence before Repo finally said, “Well… Guess that’s ANOTHER so-called ‘great’ plan that was totally _useless!”_

Having just about enough of Repo’s attitude, Meatsweats shouted back, “Well how was I supposed to know he couldn’t turn other things intangible?! At least I was trying something logical instead of just playing with toys for the past ten minutes!”

“Well maybe if SOMEONE’s powers worked the first time, we wouldn’t have had to use the toy in the first place!” Repo countered.

Hypno gave an indignant scoff. “I tried my best! And my powers COULD have worked if the cat was in range, so I’d say they’re more useful than other certain abilities,” he said in his defense, briefly giving Ghostbear a side glance.

Catching this, Ghostbear growled, poking Hypno right in the chest, “If you’ve got something to say, why don’t you say it to my face, huh?”

“Hey!” Warren shouted before Hypno could, “Back off, bear!”

“HA! Why don’t you make me, _gringo-gusano?_ ” Ghostbear smirked, parting his lips ever so slightly to show off his canine teeth.

From above, the cat gave another meow, which just seemed to make the situation all the more tense. “Will you just shut UP already!” Meatsweats told him.

“Maybe we should shut YOU up instead!” Repo suggested, giving Meatsweats a bit of a shove. Of course, this in turn made Ghostbear angry while Meatsweats was just barely resisting the urge to take his gloves off and show Mantis what his so-called useless arms could REALLY do, and it wasn’t like Hypno and Warren’s moods were any better either.

Before they knew it, the five of them devolved into a total screaming match that was just on the edge of turning violent. But while the cat actually stayed silent during all this, perhaps just as annoyed with all the arguing as everyone else was, another voice from outside the group kept trying to interrupt.

“Hey! Hey there, uh- ‘scuse me? Hey fellas? Helloooo! Hey, I think- Hey guys! Hello? Hey-!”

 **“WHAT?!”** all five of them said in unison, finally looking over at the voice. 

...It was both a surprise and not a surprise at all to see Todd smiling at them. “...Hey there!” he waved, “Heh, sorry for interrupting but- d’you guys need some help or are you all just arguing for fun?”

The group of mutants stared back at him, silent until Warren asked what they were all thinking. “Okay... When the hell did you get here?”

“Oh you know, I was just in the neighborhood, is all!” Todd cheerfully answered, “Isn’t it nice when you end up running into old friends while you’re out running errands?”

“Uhh-” Before Repo could question the capybara any further, the stuck cat decided to take the opportunity to once more get some attention, now that he could actually be heard.

Naturally, it only took one sad meow for Todd to take notice. “Awww, that poor kitty! Are you guys trying to get him down?”

“Duh,” Warren said bluntly.

“Trying and failing,” Meatsweats added.

“Yeah,” Repo huffed, crossing his arms, “So, if you’ve got any ideas-”

“Well of course I do!” Todd exclaimed, more than happy to help, “Don’t you worry, I’ve had plenty of kitty friends that have gotten themselves stuck in trees, and I’ve got a trick that _always_ works! So, anybody got a rope?”

The group exchanged glances with each other, a bit unsure about where Todd was going with this. “Well, it’s not rope, but I do have this little trick up my sleeve,” Hypno said, lifting an arm and revealing a handkerchief chain.

“Works for me!” Todd grinned, “Think you can toss it up into the branches?”

“I’ll do you one better!” Getting his wand back out, Hypno levitated the end of the cloth rope up and over the highest (but still sturdiest) branch he could find.

“Okay, now- Aha!” Taking the two ends of the robe, he gave one end to Ghostbear. “You seem pretty strong! Would you be a dear and pull me up there?”

“Eh, if I have to,” Ghostbear shrugged, taking the handkerchiefs. He didn’t care about helping, but he was never one to deny a chance to show off his strength. 

“Thanks! Now, we just need something that’ll keep kitty from moving once I get up there. Something that’ll show him we’re friends, and that he wants to come TO us not climb away from us.” 

“...Well,” Meatsweats said with a bit of a sigh as he crouched down and picked up the cold plate of fish, “It isn’t exactly fresh anymore, but-”

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Todd said, thanking him as he took the plate, “Okay, we’re all set!”

“Wait-” Warren spoke up, “Someone give me their phone.”

“Oh, here ya go!” Todd said, offering his bubblegum-pink flip phone. Warren winced at just how archaic the thing was, but took it anyway and snapped a couple pictures that he could text to his own phone back in his apartment.

When he noticed the others giving him a look, Warren simply said, “I came here for a story, I’m at the very least getting pictures.”

“Ya know what, I don’t even care,” Repo replied. Turning to Todd, he told him, “If we’re gonna do this, let’s just do it already.” They heard the cat meow again, seemingly in agreement.

“You got it, friend!” Quickly tying the handkerchief rope around his waist, Todd gave Ghostbear the thumbs up to start pulling on his end. Ghostbear did so, easily able to lift Todd up despite how plump and heavy-looking he seemed.

As Warren continued to snap pictures, everyone else looked on with curiosity and only slight nervousness. After everything that had gone wrong that day, Repo was probably the most anxious of them all, even if he barely let himself show it. “Come on,” he mumbled.

“It’s okay,” Todd said gently as he got closer to the branch where the brown cat sat. The cat was already backing up a bit, though he didn’t seem scared but instead just a bit cautious. Thankfully, that cautiousness practically melted away when Todd was able to present the plate to him.

“Hey, I think he likes your fish,” Ghostbear said as he held the rope steadily.

“Oh, so NOW he wants to eat it,” Meatsweats grumbled.

“Or maybe his mutant ability is just being some sort of animal whisperer,” Warren commented, scowling a little as he tried and failed to get the old phone to properly zoom in.

As for Todd, he just chuckled as he gently petted the kitty, who was too focused on his long overdue meal to even care. _“Mew!”_ “Yeah, we figured you’d be pretty hungry! And there’s more where that came from!” _“Mrow!”_

It took several minutes for the cat to finish eating, and by that point, Todd was easily able to cox it into his arms. “Alright, go ahead and bring me down!”

“Youse heard the beaver-man,” Repo smiled - actually smiling, not smirking - in relief, “Go ahead and bring ‘em down.” Honestly, if he had known it would be THAT simple, he would’ve called Todd first, no matter how annoying and weird the guy might have been.

Ghostbear grunted as a reply and slowly lowered Todd back onto the ground, the process being just as easy as pulling him up had been, even with the added weight of the furry little nuisance. 

Once his feet were touching dirt, Todd happily handed the cat over to Repo. “There you go! Back down safe and sound!”

“Heh, I can see that,” Repo mumbled as he took the cat. He was light and skinny, his ribs nearly poking out, and there was a bit of dirt in his fur. But the cat was alive, and though it took him a moment to adjust to Repo’s skinny arms, he was still able to purr up a storm as he snuggled into the bug-man’s chest.

“D’awww, would you look at that,” Hypno cooed, being just about as soft as Todd and Repo were when it came to cute animals, “Heh, almost makes the whole ordeal worth it, right?”

“Ehhh...” “Nah.” “Absolutely not.” “Yep!”

“Heh… I wouldn’t say it was worth it but, I ain’t exactly complainin’ either,'' Repo admitted, gently using the tip of his claw to give the cat scritches on his head. “...Well, complainin’ anymore.” Glancing up, he looked each of the other mutants in the eyes. “Well, I guess I should be thankin’ you all.”

Repo didn’t say anything else, and his former league-mates plus Ghostbear stared back in silence, waiting. It was only several seconds later, when their stares became scowls, that Repo continued. 

“Anyway, here-” Balancing the cat in his arm, he used his other to fish out several crumpled up bills from his vest pocket. “Figured this is enough ‘compensation’ to make us all square, since I guess all’a youse did sorta help out in the end.”

Figuring that was the closest thing they were going to get to an actual thank you, they each took the money. Uncrumpling it, Meatsweats couldn’t help but dryly comment, “Wow, a five dollar bill. How generous.”

“Ya want me to take it back?”

“No, no, I’m good.”

“That’s what I thought.” Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was satisfaction enough for them all to leave without too much bad blood between them all - although, Repo doubted that he’d be able to get any of them to come back over to his place anytime soon, much less sell him any scrap they might have.

The only one who did actually refuse the money was Todd, naturally. “I’m just glad I could help get this lil’ guy down!” he told him as he gave the cat more pets, “Though, if it’s not _too_ much trouble, I could use some handy work back at my place. See, one of my lawn mowers hasn’t really been working right, and Donnie hasn’t had the time to stop by and look at it, but since you work with machines too-”

“Yeah yeah, I’ll put it on my to-do list,” Repo said, waving him off as he walked away with the cat.

“Okay!” Todd said, not worried at all as to whether or not Repo would actually keep his promise and actually waving goodbye back at him, “I’ll just call you later, okay?”

“Uh huh, sure.” Though, if Repo was being honest, he wasn’t THAT much of a jerk. Just like keeping up his end of the deal with Swaggart and the others, he was planning on returning Todd’s favor. ...Eventually. But could anyone really blame him? He had lost a whole day at work, he wasn’t about to spend another whole day out in the middle of the woods fixing a lawn mower for free!

But, before he could even try to squeeze in a few hours of scrapyard work before the sun went down, Repo knew there was something else he had to do first.

Stepping into his shack, Repo went over to the sink and grabbed a bowl. Once it was filled, he set both it and the cat onto the counter. Immediately, the cat began drinking, making Repo chuckled a little.

“Yeah, I’m sure ya need a good drink after that whole situation,” he said quietly, watching the little brown kitty with soft eyes. “...Youse need a good name too. How about… Mudflap? Yer sorta the color of mud, at least.”

The cat didn’t acknowledge him or his name suggestion. He just continued to drink up, his purrs starting back up as he drank, his body acknowledging just how happy and safe he felt.

Repo chuckled again. “I guess we’ll keep workshoppin’ it. But I’ll make sure ya get a good name, just like all the other cats around here.” With that, he closed his eyes, able to relax now that the sad and helpless meows were replaced with much more pleasant, less heartbreaking sounds.

He’d get back to work soon. Repo wasn’t the type of person (er, bug-man) to let very many things stop him from doing his job, after all. Not bad weather, not people being unwilling to pay up, not even fellow mutants/semi-allies who annoyed him enough to the point of migraines.

But at that moment, well… Repo was okay with making an exception, figuring he could take a break. Just a small one, just long enough to offer his new feline friend a few more pets and make sure that he was alright.

**THE END**


End file.
